The Cricket Widows Club!

Joining us most weeks in order to bring some ‘balance’ to our website and content will be our friend Liv, the founder of Livstyle Lifestyle – a little corner of the internet where she shares the highs, the lows and the downright ridiculous moments of life as a self-proclaimed cricket widow – hence The Cricket Widows Club!

From the double header weekends, to the 3 hour post-match analysis. This is where Liv documents the chaos, the laughs and everything in between. If you or your partner knows the feeling of planning life around a fixtures list, you’re in the right place!

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Stumped?.. Your CW Rule Recap!

The season’s started… Play-Cricket is downloaded and the weather app is being obsessively refreshed.. are we the ones playing cricket?

After sitting at the first game of the season on Saturday and seriously having to remind myself what the umpires signals mean, learning I had no idea what a diamond duck was and how I am still confused as to if it is the bowler or the batter that you can’t walk behind when in play.

I realised something – We need a rule refresh.

But not just any rule refresh. A CW one: simple, sarcastic, and just enough to survive another summer in one piece!

Cricket Rules: The CW Edition – Your season rule recap!

Whether you’ve been pitch-side for years or you still think a googly is a snack, here’s your no-nonsense, simplified, and slightly sassy guide to what’s actually going on out there (sort of).

There Are Two Teams… One team bats. One team bowls. The batting team are trying to score runs (like points) and the bowlers are trying to get them out (so they can’t score points). Then they swap over. That’s basically it.

The game is played on a cricket field, which has a boundary (the edge of the pitch) usually marked by rope, and a wicket in the middle. The wicket (that rectangle in the middle) is holy ground. DO. NOT. STEP. ON. IT. Ever. If you hear “GET OFF THE SQUARE”, you’ve strayed too close to forbidden territory. Consider yourself warned!

The game is played in ‘Overs’, not rounds and this is where the bowler bowls. Six balls = one over. Bowlers take turns bowling these overs, and CWs take turns pretending to care! There may be wides and no balls thrown in there but we aren’t worrying about that.

Wickets = batters being out as a result of the fielding team. If someone says “We’re 3 down” it means three players are out. If they say “We need 40 off 5” they need 40 runs off the last 5 overs to win!

Boundaries are the only thing you’ll cheer for!.. When the ball hits the rope = 4 runs. When the ball goes over it without touching the ground = 6 runs. Your other half will yell “Shot!” and there will be a lot of clapping.

They run back and forth a lot.. and if they aren’t they should be! This is how they score runs when not hitting boundaries. Just know it’s very serious and apparently very strategic.

They can get out in all sorts of ways – bowled, caught, LBW (don’t ask), run out… you’ll hear them all during the post-match moan! Here’s the technical bit:Bowled – The ball hits the stumps. They missed it- plain and simple. Caught – They whack it and someone catches it before it hits the ground. Brutal but fair.

LBW – Leg Before Wicket. Basically, if they use their leg instead of their bat to stop the ball hitting the stumps, they’re out. Umpire decides. Often disputed.

Run Out – They don’t get back to the crease before the ball hits the stumps. Usually caused by ‘a risky single’ or a heroic-but-foolish dash.

Stumped – They wander out of their zone (crease) and the wicketkeeper whips off the bails. Rookie move.

Basically, there’s a lot going on even when it look like there’s nothing going on, and the moment they’re out, they make it everyone else’s problem.

If you hear a bowler scream “HOWZAAAATTTT?!” they aren’t having a meltdown they’re asking the umpire for a decision. Usually followed by a lot of pondering and the batter looking at the floor sheepishly whilst tapping their bat.

Clapping in cricket doesn’t necessarily mean a player has or is doing something well.. they clap when it’s good. They clap when it’s bad. They clap because someone put on a helmet. Clapping = the cricket version of ‘vibes’.

If you’re wondering about 45-over vs timed cricket? One ends with a result and maybe even a pint. The other? You sit there all day, nobody wins, and it ends in a draw. I’m not even going to attempt to make it make sense!

CW Cricket Etiquette- (a.k.a. What not to do unless you want the death stare!)

Do NOT walk behind the big white sight screen when they are in action. I’m still not sure if it’s the bowlers arm or the batters gaze but just wait until after the bowl. Otherwise you will get the disappointed head shake for unknowingly delaying play
Don’t ask “Who’s winning?”.. Nobody really knows- including the players. Just say, “Looks close” and sip your drink like a seasoned pro.
Don’t cheer the wrong team. Yes they all look the same but if you’re unsure, just clap when everyone else does! You can usually tell who’s who in their walk haha!
Don’t sit in someone’s ‘usual spot.’ They won’t tell you, but they’ll never forgive you. Do your research!
Don’t ask when it’ll be finished. You’ll only be disappointed.
Don’t bring a football.. Unless you want your child to be that child who kicks it into play mid-over and becomes the reason Dad’s stats are ruined.
Same applies for dogs.. keep them under close control
Don’t forget snacks or SPF. Rookie error. You’ll either be starving or sizzling- sometimes both.
And finally: Don’t take it personally when your other half talks more to his bat than you. It’s not you, it’s willow.